


A Long Time Coming

by some_nights



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dead Hannah, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, for like one scene, though only a little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 15:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10924962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_nights/pseuds/some_nights
Summary: "I know you have a crush on Clay" are not words you want to hear out of your perfect boyfriend's mouth, even if it is the truth.





	A Long Time Coming

**Author's Note:**

> so, i don't like titles or summaries, but this is just a fluffy little thing with a teeny bit of angst.

"I know you have a crush on Clay."

They had been sitting in silence in Tony's car, just driving. It hadn’t been their usual kind of silence, the one where both parties were just content to coexist. It had been the kind that longed to be broken, the silence before the storm. And now the storm had come.

Tony didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t deny it. He’d had a crush on Clay Jensen since fifth grade, always admiring the boy from afar. But he’d long since given up hope and was content with just being his friend. Mostly.

After a while, Tony said: "I do care about you, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. But I don’t just want to be your second choice."

"You deserve to be someone’s first choice," Tony agreed.

The silence stretched out like a rubber band, ready to snap any minute. Tony kept his eyes on the road ahead.

"How long?", Brad asked.

Tony shrugged. "Always?", he answered, because Brad, wonderful Brad, deserved nothing but the truth.

"So the whole time we were together you were always thinking of him? Comparing me to him? Maybe replacing me in your head with him?"

Brad was getting angry and Tony couldn't blame him. He pulled over and looked at his... well, he would have said boyfriend, but the way the conversation was going, they wouldn't be boyfriends for much longer.

“I would never do that to you.”

Tony could see the doubt in Brad’s eyes, so he said: “The thing with Clay... It's like a celebrity crush. It’s just there, sometimes more, sometimes less, but you'd never act on it.” _Not in a million years_ , Tony silently added.

Brad looked down and said: "Maybe you should."

"What?"

Tony blinked. From all the possible things Brad could have said, this was the least expected.

Now Brad was looking at Tony and said: "Maybe you should act on it. Because if you don’t, you will never have a good relationship. There will always be Clay. And that’s not fair. To anyone."

"Brad, I..."

"Save it, Tony", Brad said with a sad smile. "I think I know why Ryan was such a possessive dick. He was afraid to lose you."

That stung. Ryan had been a mistake. Nothing about that relationship had been good. Or healthy. Hearing Brad justify that hurt.

“I'm sorry,” Tony said. Because Brad was right. It wasn't fair. There always would be Clay. And Clay would always be Tony's number one. Maybe one day that would change. But not as long as Tony saw him every single day.

Brad opened the door to the passenger side and exited the car. With his back to Tony, he said: "So am I." Then he walked away.

Tony stayed there at the side of the road, alone with his thoughts. Brad had been perfect. A dream. He was understanding, caring, good-looking. The best boyfriend anyone could have asked for. And Tony had repaid him by not caring enough. The silence in the car was only broken by his small sobs.

\---

At first, Clay didn't notice. But then he saw the way Tony slumped his shoulders, saw the dark circles under his eyes.

"What's wrong?", he asked at lunch break.

"Brad broke up with me", Tony said with a sigh.

"Oh."

Clay really didn't know what to say. He was really bad at relationships and reading human cues. He did know that Tony was sad, but he didn't really know what to do about it. After they sat a little in silence, Clay said: "You know, if you wanna talk about it, I'm free after school."

Tony looked at Clay consideringly.

"Maybe not about that, but yeah. I could use a talk."

"Good."

Clay realized that they were still looking at each other, eyes locking. The hint of a smile danced across Tony's face. And then the moment was broken.

"Please tell me we don't have a paper due today", Sheri said as she sat down heavily next to Clay.

"Not that I know of", he answered with a frown. Part of him was angry at Sheri for ruining the moment, but the bigger part of him said 'what moment. you were just looking at each other.' Staring at each other. Clay could spend days looking into those brown eyes. Sheri waved a hand in front of Clay's face.

"Hello, someone there?"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Tony snorted on the other side of the table.

"I said if you don't know of it, it doesn't exist. You totally spaced out there for a second."

"He does that", Tony said.

Suddenly, Sheri's smile slipped.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't make fun of you like that."

"No, it's okay", Clay assured her. "I did it even before. I'm one of those guys who visit cloud-coo-coo-land regularly."

"The place from the Lego Movie?", Sheri asked with a frown.

Before Clay could answer, Tony said: "He just means he sometimes lives with his head in the clouds and forgets all about those of us stuck here on earth for eternity."

Sheri laughed at that and Clay looked at Tony again. Had he done something with his hair?

"Anyway, I should get to class. I promised Jessica to sit with her. Not everyone is nice to her since the whole thing with... you know."

Sheri got up and Clay asked: "Should I come with you?"

"No, it's okay. Finish your lunch."

Clay wanted to say that he already had, but Sheri had already left.

He felt guilty when he thought about Jessica. But most of all he was angry. Angry at the dickwards who said she was only doing it for attention and if something like that had really happened, how come she didn't come forth before? Everyone with eyes could see Jess was a wreck. Clay was impressed she still went to school with them.

“You really should go though”, Tony said.

“Yeah, you're right.”

He stayed until Tony had finished his lunch.

 

Clay and Tony talked. And they sat in silence. Clay would have thought Tony would like to talk in his car, since that seemed to be his favorite place in the whole world to do anything. (He tried not to think too hard about what "anything" might entail.) But he drove them to a hill. Not the top of it.

"Really? Rock climbing?"

"Hey, you wanted to come with me."

"You said you wanted to TALK! Not possibly break all my bones!"

"It's easier the second time", Tony said.

 

It was not easier the second time. Yes, Clay did know better where to put his hands and feet, but that didn't help. He was still a lot slower than Tony and had only climbed about three quarter when Tony reached the top.

"Are you gonna pull me up again?"

"Nah, you got it", Tony said with a smirk.

How could he be smirking. And why was NOW the moment his brain decided it was “Cute Tony Time” again. See, Clay had this thing. It was not a crush per se. Definitely not a crush. Probably. Because Clay was straight, mostly. You had to be blind not to appreciate other guys once in a while. And if that appreciation was a little fixated on Tony, so what. Everyone got a guy crush. Well. Not crush. Thing.

Clay shook his head. He really should be concentrating on climbing that wall.

"I hate you", he said when he reached the top. He was flat on the ground and couldn't move a single muscle.

"No you don't", Tony said. He laid down too, looking at the sky.

"No I don't."

Clay turned his head so he was looking at Tony. A drop of sweat was running down his temple, behind Tony's ear and down the neck. Clay felt the strong desire to follow its path with his tongue. Okay, that was new territory. During all the times this... thing had come up, it had always been more of a strong aesthetic appreciation. Maybe sometimes a little thought about Tony's lips. But this? Trailing Tony's sweat down his neck, maybe following the line of his tattoos with his tongue... Clay should really stop his line of thought.

“I'm glad Alex is okay,” Tony said, still looking at the sky.

“Yeah me too.”

Clay was aware he was staring. But maybe Tony wouldn’t notice.

“Do I have something on my face?”

So he did notice. No need to panic.

"Nothing bad."

With an amused smile, Tony turned his head to the side.

"What are you doing then?"

"Just looking."

"Okay."

Again neither of them looked away. This time, there was no Sheri to come and break the fragile moment. Clay opened his mouth, not sure what he would say, when his phone rang.

"Again?", Tony asked with a huff.

"Sorry, I have to take it. You know my mom..."

"Yeah. I know."

And that was that.

 

After that afternoon on the rock, everything went on as normal. Clay and Tony spent time together as friends, went rock-climbing together at least once a month and that was it. Nothing more. That was at least what Clay was telling himself. He tried to push down the random thought popping into his head like how muscular Tony was and how it would feel to be held in those arms or how plush his lips were and how soft they would feel if they kissed. He tried to deal with it like he always had when it came to the definitely not crush he sometimes got for Tony. Ignoring it until it went away. After three month, it was still there. Clay couldn't take it anymore.

"Skye, I think I'm developing a crush on Tony."

Skye raised an eyebrow from her seat across from him and asked: "Developing?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Most of the time Clay hadn't spent with Tony, he'd spent with Skye. After everything, he didn't like to be alone anymore. Part of him was afraid of what thoughts might creep up when he had no one to block them out.

Clay blinked confused when Sky laughed.

"Clay, you stare at him like a moon-struck calve."

"Thanks?"

She was getting serious again and said: "You know I'm still friends with Brad, right?"

"No, as a fact I didn't know that. Since when?"

"You know, since the day you hogged the front seat in his BOYFRIEND'S car and we were stuck in the back."

Clay turned red and looked down into his Americano.

"I don't know what Brad has to do with my crush on Tony."

Skye seemed to be considering something. Then she shook her head and said: "Just wanted to mention it. So, are you going to Prom?"

"Uhm. I hadn't really thought about that."

Clay had thought about that. Long and hard. He'd dreamed about it, Hannah with her beautiful blue dress, him in a handsome suit. She would look way too pretty for him, but she always did. They would dance together and this time, he would not be afraid to kiss her. She would laugh at his stupid jokes and her smile would make his stomach bubble. But that was not possible anymore. Hannah was dead.

Clay felt Skye's hand on his.

"I'm sorry", she said. Her eyes could be incredibly soft.

"I never know when it's coming, you know. Of course I always miss her, but I'm mostly fine. I live my life, telling myself she'd want me to be happy, but sometimes—sometimes I miss her like at the beginning when everything was pain and there's a hole where she's supposed to be. Just a part missing from my life." Clay could feel tears coming into his eyes. "It still hurts, Skye. It hurts so much."

Sky didn't say anything. Instead she got up and hugged Clay. She gently guided him out of the coffeshop. In the filthy alley next to it, Clay slid onto the ground and started to cry.

\---

Tony was pretty sure it was just a rumor. There were many rumors at their school. It was a High School after all. And the newest rumor was that Clay and Skye were dating. They had been seen at the new coffeshop in town. Apparently Skye had taken Clay's hand and then they went into a dark alley to make out. At least that was the rumor.

Tony was surprised how jealous a rumor could make him. He’d never felt like that before. His thoughts drifted to Hannah and Clay’s crush on her. He’d noticed. Of course he had. You don’t spend most of your time watching someone just to not notice they’d developed a crush. He hadn’t been jealous. In fact, he’d been happy for Clay. For Hannah. Both of them deserved the best. So what had changed?

For one, there were Brad’s words, how Tony should take action. If he didn’t, every guy he dated would be a rebound for a relationship that had never happened. And then there was Clay himself. His behavior towards Tony had changed. It was small, but Tony felt those blue eyes on him more often than not. He’d seen those eyes drift to his lips, his butt, his hands, basically every part of the body eyes could reach. He hadn’t said anything, because he didn’t want to scare Clay. And because he was a coward. So now rumor had it that it was too late. That Skye had been faster.

Tony slammed his locker shut with force just to find Clay standing next to it.

“Who pissed in your soup?”, he asked with a smile that made Tony’s stomach drop. Another reason for his burning jealousy was probably that his feelings for Clay were stronger than ever.

“No one,” he murmured.

That put a frown on Clay’s face and he asked: “Tony, what’s wrong?”

Tony sighed.

“Really, it’s nothing. Look, I have to get to class. See you around, okay?”

Then he turned around and left, trying not to think about the hurt look in Clay’s eyes.

 

“Dude, you’re being a jackass,” Skye said as a greeting.

“Hello to you too, Skye. What a lovely day we’re having!”

She just rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious. Do you really think Clay and me could be dating and you’d learn about it through a _rumor_? Come on, give us some credit.”

Tony frowned and said: “That’s not...”

“Cut the bullshit, Tony. I know you snapped at Clay today and I – as opposed to Clay – know about the rumor. And unlike Clay I also know your crush on him was the reason you and Brad broke up. So. When are you finally gonna do something about it?”

Tony shrugged and mumbled: “What am I supposed to do anyway?”

Skye stared at him.

“You know, I’m this close to just locking you two into a room until you figure this out. Cause if you go on like this, you’ll both be divorced before anything happens between the two of you.”

“Who says anything would happen,” Tony said.

Skye just huffed.

“Talk to him. He’s worried.”

 

Tony did just that. After school, he cought Clay on his way to the bus, hands burried in his hoodie’s pockets.

“Need a ride?”, Tony asked. His heart fluttered. He didn’t know what exactly would happen. But he felt it in his stomach that something would happen.

Clay shrugged and got in his car. They drove in silence for a while. Then Clay said: “So are you gonna tell me why you were all snappy this morning?”

Tony gnawed at his lip.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I heard a rumor and it upset me. I shouldn’t have let steam off on you.”

Clay blinked, clearly wreaking his brain to think of the high school’s gossip. Tony smiled and let him think.

“Was it the one about Ryan and...”

“Why would I care about him, that was a long time ago.”

“You know I don’t keep up with the gossip! Tell me, what was it!”

“You know you’re contradicting yourself, right? You said you don’t keep up with gossip but still want to know the rumor,” Tony said amused.

Clay shrugged. “I just want to know what upset you.”

At that moment, Tony melted. He hadn’t known what would happen on this ride when they’d started driving. But he knew it now.

He stopped the car on top of a hill.

“No rock-climbing today?”, Clay joked as he got out of the car.

Tony chuckled. “No.”

Clay was looking at his dimple, and there it was again. The look that gave Tony hope, made his stomach do somersaults. He drew a deep breath and said: “You know, the rumor that upset me. It was about that guy I have a crush on.”

“Oh,” Clay said and Tony didn’t know what to make of it.

“Yeah, you see,” Tony continued. “He had been seen with that girl he’d been hanging out with. And then they disappeared into a dark alley. I’m usually not the jealous type, when I have a crush I wish the person nothing but happiness, but… That guy is something different.”

Tony stared into the distance, barely aware that Clay was hardly breathing next to him.

“I’ve had a crush on him since fifth grade, a kind of low-key crush. Always thought he was straight though, so I never acted on it. Brad found out and broke up with me. And then the unimaginable happens: The guy starts to act like maybe he could be interested in me too, you know. So I get my hopes all high and try to find the courage to do something about it and along comes that rumor and I just. I kinda lost it, even though I knew it was probably bull.”

Tony was still staring straight ahead, not daring to look at Clay. Only when the taller guy called his name softly did Tony shit his gaze.

“Who is that guy?”, Clay asked.

Tony smiled. “Do you really have to ask?”

Instead of an answer, Clay slowly leaned in, closing the distance between them until his lips met Tony’s. For a second, Tony froze up. Then he wrapped his arms around Clay and kissed him back.

\---

Clay had been right. Tony’s lips were the softest he’d ever touched. And his arms were strong and safe and he hoped they’d keep kissing for ever. But even the most perfect kiss has to end. Afterwards, they both laid on their backs on Tony's car, gazing at the sky, fingers intertwined.

“For the record,” Clay said. “I am not straight.”

Tony laughed at that, making Clay's stomach bubble with happiness. He could get used to this.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! This story is not beta'd and I wrote it at midnight, so if you spot any mistakes, please tell me! As always, criticism is welcome.
> 
> This is my first Clony fic and the second fic I ever finished (and published). I just couldn't help but fall in love with the idea of them as a couple. They have just a certain vibe to them.
> 
> If you want, drop by my [tumblr](writtelings.tumblr.com) to say hi!


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